Regretted

The only memory of that day

all I wanted to do

all the way

was just to run away

ran far ran wide

because it tired me

it humiliated me

I was ashamed

embarrassment was the word

could not bring myself to bring a genuine smile

the laugh I faked seemed very weak

like a fragile old lady

and I made a mistake

I shouldn't had wasted all my energy 

sacrificed all my other things

gave up my dignity 

against the will of the sky

just to compromise that promise 

I was such an idiot

I still am. 

happily ever after

this world ain't a wish-granting factory
I've long known that
but was it too bad to wish for this
just a mere trifle maybe
but what was i thinking
the wind started to blow
and the rain was soon to come
and my brain had exploded in that second
do i really love him
like him as every couple did in relationship
or just yearn for something impossible
that i could never get
because it was all the author wrote
i was just rosaline
somebody to be forgotten
a third wheel
i ain't juliet
and i'm not owning this fairytale
that ended with the popular phrase
happily ever after

...

got called up to a gathering that Saturday night
changed and out in under five minutes
the ringing of the car was near
i seated myself perfectly beside my best friend
and who knew
he showed up
and my tongue was tied
leaving all the breath our of my heart
clinging to one resolution
ignored him for the rest of the night
it was cruel
not for him but me
i wished we could have talked
shared a laugh or two
but i could never bring myself to do that
no courage could come to me
and i wished we could be friends
casual friends
worked out small talks
but the bell of Cinderella rang
before i could venture on anything
anything it was
nothing
and we left

True Love

when in a relationship
our eye sights start to go
our vision starts to blur upon review
our ears become not so sensitive and yet sensitive
at the same time
hearing only those
catching only those sound waves of jealousy
we tend to forget how to think using our brains
we tend to get easily attached and forget the true meaning
of love
we will get into fights with trivial things
sometime we even forget why we fought at all
we get so involved that we can see nothing else
and yet we think stubbornly that we still can see everything
and then we choose the easy way out
break up
hoping that it will ease all the pain and free our hearts
but only then we realize break up is as much to deal with as being together
maybe even more
and then you realize
you need to work on the innermost soul rather than the outside world
that is when true love comes
knocking on your door

Touched

This tight feeling

rushed up to my mind in a heartbeat

and

filled all the space in my heart in a flip of the leaf

easily touched by the lives and souls

behind that lines and worlds 

behind books

behind music

behind anime

it touched my little fragile soul

in its tenderest and weakest spot

and before I knew

the warm waves rushed to my eyes

and blurred my vision

wiped out all the possibilities

even though it was imaginary stuff

even if it fitted in nowhere

still it fits perfectly in my heart