Monday, 18 May 2020

Sunset


You told me that you like sunset better
but
before I even got to know you
I liked dawn better
where new lives began with new hopes and resolutions
but now
it seems the other way around
you change my perception
being locked up at home
with nowhere else to go
and nobody to turn to
slowly and gradually
I fell into the trap of wanting you more
yearning for you
every waking hour
it was exhaustive and insane
when I was almost cheated that day
the worst day in my life
I confessed my love to you
it took you one hour 
but your refuse 
came at me
so glaringly clear that
It broke my little heart
I felt like dying
you said that we are just friends
no more no less
so
it had been my own heart lying to me all along
thought that at least
at least
you felt something for me
but no
you didn't 
you never 
it's just your flirting skills
it's just you replying the messages of an annoying customer
politely
you never felt anything for me
not now
not ever
why am I still struggling now
why


委屈

Why am I living in this world
this life
this home
this family
Am I not your daughter?
Why did you treat me so?
Why did you scold me on a regular basis?
when I forgot to do chores
when I was busy with my own work
when I was sick
no. you did not see that
you just saw how I didn't help you
whereas I'm not the only one around
how about my brother
my sister
no. you did not see that.
you never saw that
you just used to scolding me
always use harsh words on me
always treat me unfairly
seems like I'm the only one around who can help
yes. I'm staying at home
but, it doesn't mean that I'm always free
I have double jobs to deal with
I'm always busy
no. you did not see that.
you just enjoy scolding me
you just like to scold me
you just want to scold me
that's it
I'm done
that's enough
I won't be helping around anymore
I've enough of it
that's it
为什么我要这么委屈