I miss you.

had a movie marathon the other day
talking about love love love love and still was love
did it change me
or somehow had an impact on me
i thought they did
it somehow changed the way i'm thinking now
is it really hard for us to find somebody destined for us
or are we meant to be alone throughout our whole life
i really do not know
watching all those romantic movies and reading all those books
did not at all make me a love expert
and i was lost and confused
and i miss him
i always ask this question
what should i do if i miss you so much everyday
i really do not know
a single bit of it
all i'm doing in the meantime is just to stuff my mind and my body
with all activities and stress and works
so that i will stop thinking about you
but it did not work
as soon as i stopped
it started over again
its like a vicious cycle
sometime i got so desperate
that i did not recognize myself
but all i need to remember now is
i have my own life
i need to live it the way i want
and no amount of those pathetic sadness can stop me